My top ten...visiting new parent rules.

Way back three years ago when penny was a brand new squish and David and I were first time parents we had the “visitor experience” If you’re a parent you know what I am talking about. The well-meaning but sometimes more trouble than they are worth visitors. And they always almost bring food or some other essential item. And we were so grateful! But still made a list of things to do after that experience (and realizing I dd the same things before baby) And with the entire brand new squishes coming soon…. Thought I would share with you guys! 1) Bringing food. Ok so this is a big thing with WAY more side notes than the rest. A) Before you bring food ask about any dietary restrictions. If mommy is going to be nursing. Any food allergies, lactose intolerance etc…for everyone in the family. Bringing a delish chicken enchilada dish covered in cheese and stuffed with a bevy of veggies like mushrooms peppers and onions which is your specialty may sound like a good idea…but if mommy s nursing and daddy is allergic to mushrooms and new big sister jenny is picky and doesn’t like peppers and onions this meal is hardly going to be a hit. B) Use disposable dishes. Remember that after they eat…there is clean up. Mom is not going to want to jump up and clean the kitchen *trust me*. If you for some reason can’t then make a casserole and bring paper plates and plastic cutlery so that the ONLY dish that needs to be cleaned is the one transporting the food. C) Frozen meals-Bring a meal that has been put together but not yet baked or one that is ok to freeze. These are sometimes a life saver on nights where dinner just isn’t going to happen unless all that is involved is to throw the sucker in the oven D) Bring fresh fruit- you can do this instead of a full meal or with one. Either way so many people don’t realize how much this is appreciated. Was a nursing momma and fruit was probably one of the best things EVER for me during those early days when I was starving but had a baby attached. E) If you know others who are bringing food find out what they are bringing to avoid duplicates.-No one like creamy chicken and broccoli with cheese casserole every single night…NO ONE! Ok so now that the food part is out of the way a few more. 2) Text when you get their house for the visit. Don’t knock on the door or ring the doorbell. Kids may sleeping, baby may be nursing, Dog (if they have one) could go bat shit crazy or mommy may be sleeping (side note…if mommy has fallen asleep I do not care how far in advance you set this visit up…you drop of your stuff, do some dishes to be nice and leave. Do not…I repeat DO NOT wake her up!!) 3) If there is a new big sibling in the house be mindful of that ESPECIALLY if you are someone who they know and see on a regular basis. Do not bring a gift for baby food for mommy and daddy and nothing for them. 4) Please please please wash your hands when you come in the house. Even if you don’t get to hold the new squish you touch things and have outside germs on your hands. Baby has a very fragile immune system and guesses what…so does mommy. And if you even so much as feel like you could be beginning to get sick for the love of GOD stay home! 5) Don’t assume or demanded to hold the new baby- You will have time…the kid isn’t going anywhere. By doing this you are kind of putting the parents in an awkward spot. They may not be comfortable yet but feel that they HAVE to allow it. But if they do say no…do not give them any of the following ….Annoyed looks, eye rolls, snarky comments, question them why not. All of those make you an asshole. 6) Leave the place cleaner than when you got there- Put a small spray bottle with some cleaner in it in your purse (or a baggie with a bunch of Clorox wipes.) and wipe down the kitchen and guest bathroom sink. Sweep the kitchen floor. Unload the dishwasher (or load it) do a sink o dishes. Look around when you get there and see what you can do to be helpful. 7) Don’t over stay your welcome. - Plan on 15 minutes. Drop off food, clean something, Visit for a few minutes and leave. UN less they invite you to stay longer then by all means enjoy your visit. But again be mindful of how long you are there. 8) Opinions to yourself please!- Unless mom or dad ask you specifically what your opinion on something is or if you have a helpful suggestion for something they are having an issue with…keep your trap shut! I don’t care if you are the breastfeeding queen and mommy is having trouble figuring out a good nursing hold…until she looks you dead in the eye and says “Am I doing this right? Can you help?” Don’t say a word…not one! She is trying to figure this whole thing out on her own first. Having people step n without her asking will just make her feel like no one thinks she can do it. 9) If you want to visit after everyone gets home call first…and not on your way over either. I no one answers assume they do not want visitors right now and wait until they are ready. 10) Same goes for hospital visits.- Unless mommy and daddy specifically invite you to the hospital do not just show up. And DO not try to do a hospital visit immediately. Give them 2 hours to bond…recover…whatever…they just had a baby (and more specifically…mommy…just had a baby) Give them a bit!

WOW...almoct a year

How crazy!! It's not like I am never on here. I check for blog updates daily. It's not like I have nothing to write about... have a bevey of stuff... It's not like I don't have new pictures...I mean...it's been olmost a year... So for your veiwing pleasure (in case anyone actually reads this blog any more...

perhaps I will do better this year with my writing...

And I'm feeling good...

I have a week till my first session with my counseler. I feel like I should be scared or something but Im not. Actually (and it pains me to admit this) I am...excited. I feel like the path to a better happier life for me and my family is close at hand. I feel great about our desision to stop trying and enjoy each other. There haven't been any "I'm Pregnant" announcements lately so I can't say how I would react to that but I feel confident that I am on my way to being able to deal with it. It feels great to be honest. The dark clouds and heacy weight on my shoulders feel less opressive. I am enjoying. penny more and not as quick to snap at her for things that are normal. We have gotten back into our routine during the day. It feels amazing.

The emotional impact of Wipeout.

we love that show...WIPEOUT. Last night though it triggerd an emotional breakdown. Two of the contestants (it was a couples show) Were referd to as the baby makers...they had like 5 kids. It was so glarring and in your face. And all it took was three bitter laced words to send D and I into a 3 hoour emotion ridden tear filled disscussion. D keeps his feelings close to home. He doesn't really care what other people think about the choices we have made as a family. And he trully does not understand why I let other people affect me emotionally. but everyone has a breaking point. And last night he reached his. I have spent the better part of the last year so focused on my feelings that I never gave a seond thought to his. I never thought about how it made him feel when I would cry about others getting pregnant when I wasn't. I never blamed him...it isn't his fault. But i also never made it clear that I was just venting my frustrations either. I must say..it felt good to get it all out. To cry. It was like a burden lifted from my heart and I felt lighter than ever :)

This is not going well....

I need counseling. There I said it. It's out there now. No going back. I can't even pinpoint what is wrong. I just know it's something. I feel...wrong. Off Anxious. D is having a high stress time at work. I can't help it. I don't like that. I really wish there was something I could do. I think it's a control thing. I also am struggaling with the trying to concieve issue. I am terrified this will set me back. In my mind every time I get my period or someone announces there pregnancy I hear the soup nazi (a la seinfeild) screamign NO BABY FOR YOU!!! So yeah...counceling. I have 1 week till my first session. I just need to make it a week. Just a week. just a week.

I'm not...

3 negative pregnancy test and day one of a period that is 5 days late...and obviusly...my ute is still unoccupied. I have been keeping busy. and for the past few months I have been extremly ambivilent about it. the holidays and our choice noot to focus on trying to concive helped. but now...the dissapointment if free flowing. and it doesn't help that every week someone os announcign their pregnancy. Or having a baby.

2 test one answer....no activity "down there" though...

So today is baby testing day. I broke down and took a pg test last night...big fat negative. But I wasn't bummed. The logical side of my brain reminded me that A)It was not test day thereore this was just a "practice test" and B)first mrning pee is best....being full of HCG and what not. I also reminded my self that I have not had a single symptom...pregnancy or PMS. Not one. I ovulated late probablly. I will admit i have been lazy with charting since november. We decided not too focus on trying to concive during the holidays. Although finding out that three cusins are pregnant each month since then has been hard after this weekend and the relaxign holiday and all I wasnt nearly as sad as I have been. talk to me next month though. or when they have their babies. If my ute is unoccupied then yeah...the saddness will return. I know that people who read this and don't know me will just see a woman who already has a beautiful healthy little girl. They will wonder why I am feeling sad when others struggle for just one. there is no easy answer. one persons pain and struggle is not indicitive of everyones pain and struggle. Concieving our daughter and carrying her so easily made me think a second child would be jsut as easy. Now i am not so sure. Im doubting my self. I go through feelings of betrayl buy my body. wondering whatb the heck is wrong with me. *sigh* will wait another week to test. I feel a week is good. I will either get a visit from "Aunt Flow" or a posotive pregnancy test. either way I'll know.