Tuesday, January 22, 2013
My top ten...visiting new parent rules.
Way back three years ago when penny was a brand new squish and David and I were first time parents we had the “visitor experience” If you’re a parent you know what I am talking about. The well-meaning but sometimes more trouble than they are worth visitors. And they always almost bring food or some other essential item. And we were so grateful! But still made a list of things to do after that experience (and realizing I dd the same things before baby) And with the entire brand new squishes coming soon…. Thought I would share with you guys! 1) Bringing food. Ok so this is a big thing with WAY more side notes than the rest. A) Before you bring food ask about any dietary restrictions. If mommy is going to be nursing. Any food allergies, lactose intolerance etc…for everyone in the family. Bringing a delish chicken enchilada dish covered in cheese and stuffed with a bevy of veggies like mushrooms peppers and onions which is your specialty may sound like a good idea…but if mommy s nursing and daddy is allergic to mushrooms and new big sister jenny is picky and doesn’t like peppers and onions this meal is hardly going to be a hit. B) Use disposable dishes. Remember that after they eat…there is clean up. Mom is not going to want to jump up and clean the kitchen *trust me*. If you for some reason can’t then make a casserole and bring paper plates and plastic cutlery so that the ONLY dish that needs to be cleaned is the one transporting the food. C) Frozen meals-Bring a meal that has been put together but not yet baked or one that is ok to freeze. These are sometimes a life saver on nights where dinner just isn’t going to happen unless all that is involved is to throw the sucker in the oven D) Bring fresh fruit- you can do this instead of a full meal or with one. Either way so many people don’t realize how much this is appreciated. Was a nursing momma and fruit was probably one of the best things EVER for me during those early days when I was starving but had a baby attached. E) If you know others who are bringing food find out what they are bringing to avoid duplicates.-No one like creamy chicken and broccoli with cheese casserole every single night…NO ONE! Ok so now that the food part is out of the way a few more. 2) Text when you get their house for the visit. Don’t knock on the door or ring the doorbell. Kids may sleeping, baby may be nursing, Dog (if they have one) could go bat shit crazy or mommy may be sleeping (side note…if mommy has fallen asleep I do not care how far in advance you set this visit up…you drop of your stuff, do some dishes to be nice and leave. Do not…I repeat DO NOT wake her up!!) 3) If there is a new big sibling in the house be mindful of that ESPECIALLY if you are someone who they know and see on a regular basis. Do not bring a gift for baby food for mommy and daddy and nothing for them. 4) Please please please wash your hands when you come in the house. Even if you don’t get to hold the new squish you touch things and have outside germs on your hands. Baby has a very fragile immune system and guesses what…so does mommy. And if you even so much as feel like you could be beginning to get sick for the love of GOD stay home! 5) Don’t assume or demanded to hold the new baby- You will have time…the kid isn’t going anywhere. By doing this you are kind of putting the parents in an awkward spot. They may not be comfortable yet but feel that they HAVE to allow it. But if they do say no…do not give them any of the following ….Annoyed looks, eye rolls, snarky comments, question them why not. All of those make you an asshole. 6) Leave the place cleaner than when you got there- Put a small spray bottle with some cleaner in it in your purse (or a baggie with a bunch of Clorox wipes.) and wipe down the kitchen and guest bathroom sink. Sweep the kitchen floor. Unload the dishwasher (or load it) do a sink o dishes. Look around when you get there and see what you can do to be helpful. 7) Don’t over stay your welcome. - Plan on 15 minutes. Drop off food, clean something, Visit for a few minutes and leave. UN less they invite you to stay longer then by all means enjoy your visit. But again be mindful of how long you are there. 8) Opinions to yourself please!- Unless mom or dad ask you specifically what your opinion on something is or if you have a helpful suggestion for something they are having an issue with…keep your trap shut! I don’t care if you are the breastfeeding queen and mommy is having trouble figuring out a good nursing hold…until she looks you dead in the eye and says “Am I doing this right? Can you help?” Don’t say a word…not one! She is trying to figure this whole thing out on her own first. Having people step n without her asking will just make her feel like no one thinks she can do it. 9) If you want to visit after everyone gets home call first…and not on your way over either. I no one answers assume they do not want visitors right now and wait until they are ready. 10) Same goes for hospital visits.- Unless mommy and daddy specifically invite you to the hospital do not just show up. And DO not try to do a hospital visit immediately. Give them 2 hours to bond…recover…whatever…they just had a baby (and more specifically…mommy…just had a baby) Give them a bit!