Wednesday, October 28, 2009

It's not always a bad thing...

Ok so I am not gonna lie...I love make-up...and hair products...and clothes...and shoes (oh dear sweet lord do I love me some shoes!)

i always try to look good when I leave the house...or at least you know...normal.

Now that the website people of walmart is such a hit I am so incredibly paranoid about how I look when we go grocery shopping it isn't even funny. I know I know...t shirt shorts ponytail socks and shoes...should be fine...maybe some base powder and lipgloss.

But I am pregnant now to...and although everyone who see's me knows I'm pregnant...I don't have the typical "baby bump" other words...i feel I look like the stay puft marshmellow man.

I just know I will be on that website one day...and I also know it is parania to the max....

*sigh* 7 months down 2 more to go....maybe I will just stay in doors for the next 4

(although if the weather doesnt change real in cool the eff down...that may be a very real possobility

Saturday, October 17, 2009 get a gold star!

So long story short D has not seen his bio-dad since he was 4. His father actually passed away when he was about 14. And as far as he is concerned his dad is the man who raised him (techniclly his step dad)

a week ago a woman on Myspace wrote him a message asking if he possiblly was her nephew whom she has not seen in many many years.

He is.

Funny thing is this...He didn't know his dad had any brothers or sisters...apparently he has 7! And D's paternal Grandmother (Whom he vagly remembers and though had pased away at this point) is still alive and has been serching for him as well for years.

in a matter of days D's family has doubled.

His mother was so happy to hear that his aunt had contacted him and his dad assured him he did not feel any negative feelings about him talking and getting to know his bio-dads family (which was very important to D)

Good Job internets!

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

The great cake massacre of 2009...

otherwise known as why i dislike store bought cake mix!

So D has a sweet tooth...bad! Every night before bed he has one of three things.

1)Milk and dove caramel chocolate
2)Milk and Reese's cups
3)Milk and cake

I usually make a cake for us 2 times a week. I don't mind because I Love baking and cooking and I love cake.

Typically it is either a red Velvet cake with cream cheese frosting or a yellow butter cake with chocolate frosting and it is always homemade. But this week we did get cake mix from the store.

I have no illusions that I will be the super mom who looks beautiful has a clean house a clean child a fantastic dinner and still have time to make homade dessert twice a week.

Clean child and great dinner...I can do. Clean house...a must. Looking's me soooo I have a natural fierceness which will shine through...but homemade desserts twice a week...welll...maybe not. So we decided to try cake mix...just to see how it turns out.


1)more expensive. With what we spent on 2 cakes...I could have mad 4 from scratch.

2)maybe it was old cake mix but the cake didn't come out nice. It sank in the middle and stuck to the pan even though I greased them. then when I iced crumbled and tore as I tried to spread the icing.

3)my icing is better...just sayin.

So the end result was something worthy of the website

Cake wreaks!

and it was OK.

that's right just OK. Not "oh baby this was awesome" or "mmmmmmmm nom nom nom"

I also did not have fun making it.

I will just stick to homade goodies and cake mix from the store be dammed!

Thursday, September 10, 2009

To whome it may concern...

Ugh...I am being so incositant with bloggin on this page! sorry guys...i get better!
For my triumphant return I give you


Dear red ants who have decided to inhabite our home,
Seriously? We have tried to be nice. We have tried to use alternative pest control so as not to kill yo guys. But you are now taking advantage of our hopitality. This means WAR! Enjoy your time...while it last!

So not enjoying your presance!

Dear people who have no boundries,

To my friends and family who enjoy my company. Yes I love you all and love seeing you and hearing from you. That being said...
Between the hours of 8 in the morning and noon D and I are usually either A) sleeping or B) running around getting ready for work. We unplud the phone so as not to be disturbed so we can continue sleeping or getting ready for the day. if the phone is not plugged in and you can not get ahold of us that does mean you should just "drop in". Call back later or send one of us a message via myspace facebook email text message. we will get it. And if we say " not a good time" or "come by later please" don't get [issy with us. We are not here to cater to your schedual! On that same note when the baby gets here...if you just drop by we will not answer the door. if you knock once and no one answers do not...I repet DO NOT continue to bang upon the door for five min or try to get our attention by yelling "HEY YOU GUYS! I KNOW YOUR HOME! LET ME IN!" through the door. not only is this rude to us but we live in an apartment building and it also disturbs our neighbors!


Tired of D having bad mornings because of you guys!

Dear Myspace'

You know myspace a lot of people are starting to leave you. Many of my "peeps" have relocated to facebook. Yes I do have a facebook account but I still love you more. and do you want to know why? because I HATE APPS! I don't like them or the constant stream of request that clutter up my mailbox because of it. But now you are going the way of facebook and I am dealing with the APPS on you as well...PLEASE STOP!


Don't go changin...I love you just the way you are!

Dear Medicaid,

Please get your asses together!

that is all

Dear spawn dancing around my ute,

Mommy loves you...but really the dance party at 2 in the morning that wakes me up? 2 am??? really?!?!?! I love feeling you move around in there I do...but could you like sleep till 8 is and then move around? this does not bode well for you r future sleeping habits!

Someone who loves you no matter what time it is :)

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Is it me? noooooo of course not I'm perfect!

A few weeks ago I wrote a blog asking about outing an ex who I knew was lying to not only himself but also to others. I of course (because I am way to paranoid about getting sued)asked his permission to use him in a blog. He went a little postal on me via facebook and brought up nasties in our former relationship. Which got me thinking about something.
When a relationship ends well i.e. both parties agree it isnt working out no one blames the other for not trying to change or forgetting to pick up their dirty laundry and things move on. But this relationship was diffrent. I would love to say that I am happier in my life without him and that it was all his fault and to be honest most of our friends felt it was and I was justified. But...i was wrong to.

We didn't date long...just over 3 months. I was(and still am) a very passionate and physical person. I love kissing and cuddling and lets face it...I love sex. I don't know if it was to fill a void or something but i freely admit I love the closeness when I am with someone intamently. I really love it with david. I can honestly say I have the best now.

My ex was not a physical person. He could make me laugh in a second and if I had been in a better place in my life I would have never dated him but we would have been friends. About a month after we started dating I began to get irritated with little things. every day I would drive from winter garden to universal studios to pick him up from work and take him home...often I would stop at the store for him. He never once gave me money for gas and twice I ran out. On his days off he didn't want to do anyhting but sleep or hang out with his work friends at a bar I apparently wasn't allowed to go to because I wasn't "in the group". ouch. I felt alone. when I moved out of my mothers house into my own place he would insist on me driving him to his place (which was about 5 min down the road in the opposite direction)and when he finally did move in with us it became apparent very soon that his standards of house keeping and mine were vastly diffrent. I got tired of coming home from work to a mess. I think the final straw was the fact that he made me feel like an absolutely horrible person for wanting to be physical. I was tired of being ignored and lied to and put on the back burner all for the sake of "I need to focus on getting my life straight right now". fine...then why are we even together.

And then did the unthinkable...the one thing I swore I would never ever do. I cheated on him.

The funny thing is the party david and I met at...he was supposed to go to with me...but he once again bailed on me and I was actually pissed.

And then I found david we connected and next thing I know we are having a passion filled love affair that would rival any harlquin romance novel (although david doesn't have fabio's fantastic hair)

Dave realized something was up...he tried to get me back but it was to late. and he was bitter.

I could end the story there but it would not be fair to him.

Unknown to me he had a chemical imbalance that prevented him from getting aroused and feeling the feelings of passion. He was also huffing air in a can (although he wouldn't admit it even when caught). I wish he would have just talked to me but he didn't...everything was joke.

Would we still be together if he had talked or gone with me to the party? I doubt it. I love david and he is the man god has put in my life. But I still feel extrem guilt for what I put my ex through.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

have you ever just wanted to...

call someone out for no reason? before you brand me as the wicked witch of the west let me explain. I got another random message from a former boyfriend the other day talking about how relationships are bullshit and he can't understand how bad things happen and he keeps getting hurt when he doesn't do anything wrong blah blah blah. It is taking everything in me not to write him back and say

A)Who in the world said you would never get hurt as long as you always did the right thing?

B)You have a tendancy not to listen...ever.

C)You make every serious talk into a long random joke via family guy

D)In the relationship everything is about you and your life and getting it back on track. If god forbid your partner needs anything or any type of support then you make them feel like crap.

I really want to write all of this...but can't see how it would do any good! lol

In other random news and events...

brina...irene...are you guys still out there? i miss NMM...I miss pretty pictures and I miss Nic Cage Thursday...I tired to reproduce it but it just didnt work out!

go to you tube and type in mom cancels world of warcraft account...and enjoy. you will not be disapointed i promise! lol

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Watership Down (and why I may never be the same again)

So after many weeks of constant complaining about the numerous times I have read all the books in my private library david and I finally went book shoping. Normally i like boarders BUT i have found some of my favorite books at thrift stores (and hello...they are like 1.00 there...come on!) So as david and I were diving into the bin o' books at savers david oulls one out looks at the cover and says 'oh hunny look! It's watersip down! I love this book!" Because he loved the book and I loved him I threw it along with a number of others in my basket and we proceded to the cheackout.

I started reading watership down (or as I call it now W.D.) on firday....I finished it last night.

I thought it was about submarines (hello...WATERSHIP....I mean come on)

I thought beign about bunny's it would be mostly happy with some sad bambie

I will never look at bunnies the same again...ever!

I am starting slaughter house 5 next. *Sigh* Im beginging to wonder if I should bring david book shopping with me anymore...

paranoid about th wildlife thoughts!

Michelle"And apparentlly there is a cartoon based on the book that I must see....crap"Gasaway

Thursday, July 2, 2009

So I don't normally do this...

Ok so I normally do not call out peoples on the interwebz. If I see you doing something or catch you in a lie...I will call you out to your face. BUT since I have not seen this person in a while and do not usually communicate with them...well I has to do it this way. Sorry but his latest rant de jour blog on myspace concerning the evils of love and matramoniy made me giggle hard core. But before i contimue let me give my darling readers a back story (brina...if I leave anything out I apologize...I was trying to kinda sorta forget a lot of stuff but feel free to add to this if you want mmmkay!)

Once upon a time (2000-2001) In a land far away (Winter Garden/ocoee/gotha/windermere) There was a beautiful princess who was bff's with another beautiful princess in a magical kingdom called High School. Beautiful Princess Brina was in a relationship with a young man who had a younger brother. Beutiful princess michelle was totally (for some reason) infatuated with younger brother even though he was A)4 years younger B)In a relationship and C)Kinda grody.

Princess michelle and erik fooled around for about 3 months before he decided to remain faithful to his girlfriend which was noble but still completley broke her heart and made her feel worthless. In an irronic strange twist of fate...his girlfriend developed a slight Bi-courious girl crush on princess michelle...AWKWARD!

Luckily everything worked itself out and both princess are (thankfully)much better off with out them.

Now back to the story at hand. Erik writes 2 kind of blogs on myspace. He either c&p song lyrics from diffrent bands showing his tragiclly emo (whether he admits it or not) lifestyle or blogs bashing his current ex who eh is "So over" but yet still likes to write about because he is so happy to be out of a "toxic relationship". The break up was over a year ago.

Today he wrote his thoughts on weddings (really erik? weddings?)

I won't go into all the wonderfull advice he gave but one part made me laugh...really hard...

Contrary to popular belief, i was actually raised in a very aristocratic high class style of living. I chose this type of life because that life is something for the weak of mind dying to gain approval from other fakes and hypocrites.

High class living and all the high class parties are reserved for the sycophantic leeches of society striving to be what they are not, fact am descended from such high standings but chose the freedom to be what i want to be, regardless of who i am and what stature i can hold if i so chose to go back to that life. Aristocracy is in my blood and in my life, not a lot of people can say that, but the trailer trash wish for this status so much, even though i love and admire the freedom they have to be themselves.

WHAT?!?!?! dude I went to you house I met your parents...Ariticratic? i think not! But maybe Im wrong. Maybe I missjudged. knew them longer and I belive met more of the family...were they aristicratic?

Happy Thoughts!


Monday, June 29, 2009

Not Me Monday_preganancy edition

I know I know. i swore this blog wouldn't turn into a "look at me look at me I'm a pregnant attention whore!" blog and thus far i think I have done a good job. But as I sit down to write my nmm I realize...Everything I did this week pertains to baby here goes

*warning this blog will contain sorta nasty things...just sayin*


So I did not mean...join david in a trip to babies r us to get look at carseats and get totally distracted by everything else that we really reall don't need while trying to convince him in a very mature (whinny) voice that we totally did need things like a mini motorcycle for the baby or a baby sized tiara (seriouslly...come child needs a tiara!)

I also did not get incrediblly snippy when the salse lady kept walking past us and ignoring us helping all the other mommies who were there with babies or at the very least a visibale baby bump and then have the guts to finally aproach us and say "Sorry i wanted to make sure I helped all of the expectant mommies first. So who are you looking for friend relative baby shower?"

And I did not give her the squinty eyes >;( and tell her that next time she shouldn't just assume the fat girl standing in the aisle was looking for a friend.

nope that would have been rude and uncalled for and made someone fell embarrassed.

I did not have to (and folks this is where it kinda gets gross) retire the thongs for a while in lew of Granny panties because the snail trail was getting outta control down there...if ya know what I mean.

My boobs did not get bigger and I did not go decide that I would wear sports bras fro the next 7 months simply to keep from buying new bras.

I have not totally become obsessed with MTV'S 16 and pregnant to the point of screaming things at the television like "OMG! Do not leave that baby on the table un-attended!" or "Geez woman! just leave him...he obviously isn't father material"

I did not get weepy watching a Flintstones vitamins commercial.

And I did not absolutely did not crave a cigarette when i happened to smell my neighbors smoking (no worries though...I quit and haven't lit up once since I found out I was with child.

BUT I did...

See my midwife this week hear the heartbeat and find out I was measuring a week ahead so i am actually 11 weeks not 10! woot! that means only 2 more weeks and i will be in the safe zone! YAY!!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Scary Adventures!

So yesterday my girlfriend J called me up and asked if I was in the mood for a field trip. My response? The home is cleaned, laundry done, Mail checked and dinner ingredients sitting out in prep mode. David won't be home till eight and we of course will be home wayyyy before that. And seriously who turns down a field trip?!?!?! I mean seriously? So J comes over and we hang out for a bit. David in the meantime comes home early.Which is cool. I don't have to leave a note now! We all visit and then "the girls" head out. Now a few things before I continue...

1)We were going to a place called Pipe Dreams which is 1/2 head shop and 1/2 porn shop.

2)This in pine hills (or more com manly known to locals as Crime Hills)

Immediately upon entering my sinuses flared. If you have ever been in a head shop before you know they always have incense of a various nature. I love incense...I do. But my sinuses do not appreciate it on a massive scale and when it is about 20 different types...just sayin.

So here we are walking around me looking like I am severely depressed and feeling like my head is going to explode but giggling hysterically none the less.

Enter...the old guy behind the counter. Who thought two young giggly ladies were the perfect people to talk to and opened with this beaut of a question...

"If you came home and caught some girl giving your man that cheating?"

My answer..."ummmm yea...I would have to cut a bitch"

apparently this answer makes me a prude ;(

At some point the conversation got around to the question "are you into kinky stuff like torcher, wax, cutting?"

*sigh* Long story short he invited us to "The Dungeon" in the back.

Now before I carry on and tell you just how incredibly awesome (no I'm not even kidding) this place was let me first say this.

J is brave. I on the other hand put on a good "brave" face. In reality..I am totally a chicken shit.

And as we exited the store through the back and followed this guy I had a number of thought running through my head

1)hmmmm I wonder if the are open for business right now?

2)This is kind of an almost scarey a rob zombie movie

3)holy shit! people get dead in rob zombie movies...and not in pleasing ways either!

4)We are going to die...this guy is the front man to death operation like in hostel...i know it!

Now obviously...I was wrong. As far as the room goes...awesome. Whips chains racks chairs cages it had everything! Including a stylist chair and Movie star mirror surrounded by lights so you could do your hair and make-up. Not nearly as scary as I was thinking it was going to be (you know because I frequent BDSM lifestyle Dungeons so often! lol)

It is called The Woodshed Orlando. Look it up...they has a website...with pictures!

and the best part...

It had a Hello Kitty Welcome mat!

So thanks J for the fun field trip!

Thanks to all the great people at pipe dreams!

And thanks to our personal tour guide for The woodshop!

And sorry david for getting home late and not having dinner ready till 9:30! lol

Happy thoughts!

Michelle "Hey whats this for?" Gasaway

Friday, June 19, 2009

OMG! A spider as big as my head was on the fridge!

ok ok so maybe not as big as my head but big enough for me to squeal like the girly girl that I am. Not that I hate spiders. I don't. they (for the most part) are good and eat bugs and are very artistic with web design and what not. And some dare I say it are really very pretty...just not when they are on my fridge near my food or crawling on me. Poor spider...if I had seen it before hand I would have tried to set it free outside. As it is it crawled from the door to my hand as I was opening it and scared the crap out of me....and is now in spidy heaven

Sad about the spider thoughts

Michelle"this so doesn't go with my warrior princess alter ego...but I'm sure xena had her phobias to..right?"Gasaway

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Thursday, June 11, 2009

an AHA! moment...kind of

So I have a couple of confessions.

1) When I was younger...I loved the Jerry Springer show. I did. This was of course before it became the trashy crap fest that it is now (it it even still on the air? really?) I had a totall crush on steve and his sexy ass bald head and I totally loved judging the people on the show with the audience members.

2)The ones I judged the most were the unfaithful people who thought that reveling themselves on the show was ok. And I judged the people they were cheating on the most. I remember thinking "If it was me and someone cheated on me and then acted like that with no remorse and obviouslly did not want me...I would leave immedietlly. Why fight for someone like that?

I now know...for a fact...if david did that...i would totally fight for him.

Now let me explain he has not ever EVER cheated on me and I know in my heart he never would.

But last night i had a trully awful terrifying dream. and this is what happend

In my dream david and I were sitting in a restraunt having dinner. He was quiet for the most part until he suggested that it would be a good idea for me to sleep with other men. At first I thought he was joking but soon realized he wasnt. He confessed to sleeping with our friend (and keith's long time roomate) jennie. I was heartbroken. But I forgave him and we went home. Later Keith called and invited us to his house for a small gathering saying "we figured david and jen could hook up again"

I said no and then after hanging up realized he didn't say jennie...but jen (who is his other roomie...whom I really don't like)

I confronted david who laughed and said "yeah....sorry I didn't sleep with jennie I slept with jen...she was a virgin (at this point I knew it was dream) and it was pretty fun.

The rest of the dream consisted of me in tears and heartbroken beging him to break things off and stay with me and to love me yadda yadda yadda.

I woke up in tears and physically ill.

But I know for a fact that this is exactlly how I would act in this situation and I understand now why they have fights break out on episodes of springer (because all the story's on that show are real...right!?!?!?!)

This is just another example of how peoples (or at least my) percpectives change when you fall in love I guess.

Enlightend Thoughts!

Michelle"I hate these kinda dreams"Gasaway

Monday, June 8, 2009

Not me monday (look guys im actually doing it!)

ok so since mnost of this pertains to the "with childness" that i am going through it should really be on the other blog...

but you are just lucky it is getting done in the first place....

I did not break any rules this weekend.

I did not have an incrediblly mouthwatering turkey and cheese samich on friday with an O' Douhls (no freak outs please....doc says its ok and funny story she said their is actually more alchohol in a glass of orange juice and in canada they give you a guiness in the hospital to stop pre-term contractions or for pain releife....who knew) because even though i am in "the family way" I am not totally craving everything Im not allowed to have....and beer? seriouslly? anyway

I also did not spend all day on friday with bed....watching....wait for it....The X-MEN Animated series! oh yea! I mean.....nope not me!

I also am not suffering tummy troubles after bragging about not being sick...and an update...the child has decided...I can have cheese grits with grape jelly....great.

i also did not totally make an appointment for a belly cast with a woman who can a)paint it pink! and B)decorate it with S Crystals!!!! WOOOT!

happy thoughts!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

This is getting silly.

Why is it that guys who in the past wouldn't give me the time of day or broke my heart have decided that now that I am happy and not single that I am worthy of their affection? What is goign through their little minds? Men say women are hard to understand but i am are a totall and complete enigma to me. srsly. and the sad thing is getting really hard for me to be nice about it. soooo justin, sean, erik, tomas,carl and david (not my david..diffrent david) and mike....

I am Happy Healthy and there is noooooo chance again...NOOOOO CHANCE.

that is all

I swear next time a suggestion is made...I will start talking about the pregnancy...and not the fun stuff either....the words uterus and mucas plug will be men have been warned!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Not me mon...ere i mean tue...oh wait wendsday...not me wendsday!

GAH! Wendsday?!?!? how did I loose two whole freaking days??? I bet it was aliens...I bet it was!

But seriouslly

I did not loose two days because I slept a total of like 5 million hours this week (seriouslly...I am not working this is I suffering from the tired?)

David and I did not watch Amistade last night (Which I have to admit...was the first time I have ever seen it in my life) and I did not

A) giggle hystericlly at multiple parts including the begining when one of the africans is dancing around and moking the two spanish saliors they had tied up and allowed to live)

B) yell at david for not warning me that an infant on the slave ship is killed when the woman holding the baby jumps overboard. (seriouslly have seen this know my movie rules...and an infant death? NOW?)

C) and bust out with "Well isn't that a bitch!" att he end when after all of that...after the slaves are finally FINALLY freed and going back home to africa you find out the leader gets back to find a civil war going on his village destroyed and his family gone because...they have been SOLD INTO SLAVERY! NOT COOL!

i have not been watching marathone episodes of reba this week and laughing loud enough that it apparently disturbed my neighbors (please the walls are paper thin and I have never complained about having to listen to their stupid music!)

I also did not have a mini freak out over a cold cut sandwich (more on the little appleseed blog about that)

and I did not call Planned Parenthood in an agitated state becuase they left a message telling me the date and time for my abortion (they were given the wrong info by another girl apparently).

sigh nope not me!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

to my followers...

Thought you guys might be interested...I started a new blog on blogspot... it's called little appleseed...go take a look if you are interested!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"my boobies are in PAIN!"Gasaway

Sunday, May 17, 2009

So david and I have been talking....

nothing all! lol

We were actually going over finances and such. and where we aren't destitute we are not where we wanted to be this close to the wedding. So while the wedding is still totally and completely on the date is probably going to be more like jan or feb of next year. not a huge deal or huge change (plus this gives me more time to lose weight). Luckily we have it all planned and since the only professional we are using is our photographer (ahem...brina..I needs an email as you aren't on the myspace anymore) it shouldn't be that much of a challenge. We mainly wanted to have enough money saved up for a really nice honeymoon trip plus have the credit cards paid off (and on a side note...we only have 300 dollars left to pay! woot!) and a certain amount in our savings account. between the accident and the fact that me working as a sub and going to school and my other job with the rat being on hold because we aren't "Busy" (summer break guys...they're totally busy!) we haven't been pulling in as much lately. Oh well.

We are healthy and together. we have a home and food. We may not be rolling in the dough but we have each other and are blessed to both have work. we make our bills on time every month and right now...that is what matters :)

k...enough with the gushy stuff!

I am going into withdrawals already!

I hate the summer tv schedule!

House! Bones! AI! I need you! lol

And I despise cliffhangers!

Please! Booth has amnesia?!?! WHAT?!?!

And house is in rehab...ok yeah i can see that...but will he be the same house we all know and love?

In other news I got a bunch of "new books" to read from a yard sale.

Circle of friends (I love that movie)

Summer sisters by Judy Blume (according to Cosmo it is a really good read with steamy sex...wait...this is the woman who wrote the super fudge series from my childhood?!?!)

A Child called it.

and three book that had covers sporting corset clad women and Fabio-esq type men that have lots of dog-eared pages and hopefully multiple references to "Throbbing Members"

And as far as the Mormons go. They came back. I sat down with them and explained that I respected their belief's but I was happy with mine and that from now on even if I was home I would not be answering the door.

They sad.

BUT I was strong and also let them know that our neighborhood was a no solicitor neighborhood and if the continued to come back myself and my neighbors were prepared to alert security and the management.

I will probably see them next week.

and one final last note..I HAZ 3 FOLLOWERS NOW!!! WOOT!

Michelle"waves neurotically to all the people who are now commenting and following her blog"Gasaway

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Knock Knock..

Am I the only one in the world who finds it hard to be mean to the Mormon missionary's who come to my door? am I? I guess my thought process goes a little something like this

They are super excited about their beliefs (can't fault them)

They want to share their belief's with me because they truly believe this will make my life better ( problem..I am all for people trying to make me a happy girl)

They are nice to everyone...even the nasty people who slam doors and the ones who make fun of them (and you know they know when people are making fun of them)

I just can't bring myself to be nasty!

so when they do knock I answer the door smile tell them I am a christian and happy with my church (silently praying for god to forgive me for that little lie as David and I do not have a home church yet) and tell them to have a great day.

normally...normally I do this.

Today... on my first day off in oh 6 days....after working 6 12 hour days....I was so happy to be able to sleep about 8:15 am


Me in my nightie still jumps out of bed grabs my robe and stumbled to the door thinking its the cops (unfortunately this has happened enough that I expect it to be them now) because one of our totally classy neighbors has had yet another fight with her baby daddy.

but was the Mormons.

"Good Morning Michelle!" (sad...they know my name by now...they really don't give up do they)

wha...why? do you know what time it is?

"Why Yes It is 8 o'clock on this beautiful day god has given us!" (there were storm clouds behind them)


and with that I slammed the door and crawled back in bed and tried to go to sleep....but couldn't because I felt guilty.

so I got up got dressed grabbed some cookies I made last night...and found them three doors down. Apologized gave them the cookies and told them to come back on Monday at noon.

I am such a sucker.

so come Monday they will show up and try to sell me on joining their church...again. And I Will say sorry i am happy with my beliefs ...Again. And we will depart each others company...for at least another two weeks.

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle "Not how I wanted to start my day"Gasaway

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Summer lovin'

So as the heavens opened up and gave us our first real summer deluge of the season it dawned on me...I need a new swim suit. Now it is no secret that I am not of the La Petite body type and with my weight loss regine still in full swing I am not so comfy wearing a suit that consist of a couple pieces of dental floss a tissue all dyed in some flashy color. so I went online and i have found a couple I really they are all between 25 and 50 dollars and I am indecisive I need outsiders opinion (and not David...I asked him and he said...whats the's just a swimsuit. which one shows more cleavage? boys)

I am leaning towards the red with polka dots and the pink...I just don't know how I am feeling about the large flower on the pink one yet...

anywho....let me know your favorites!

Happy Thoughts!
Michelle"And we'll have fun fun fun till our daddy takes the T-bird away!"Gasaway

Monday, May 11, 2009

I can haz followers? & Not Me Monday

I now have 2 followers (official ones) and what I believe is at least 3 other separate individuals that read my bloggag...but they dont leave comments. come and leave comments! no be shy!

Seriously though i totally feel popular (breaks into wicked song and dance routine)

I only have one thing that I really didn't do this week...

I did not spend my day off alone (that would be today) singing and dancing around the living room wearing an old Halloween costume to the wicked soundtrack and crying while singing Defying Gravity (this song was the first song I listened to when i left the courthouse after finalizing my has sentimental value)

I am so not Idena Menzal...but I think I sound better singing than I did in high school (Thank you church choir! woot free voice lessons!) mainly because I am not trying to sound like Julie or cory or ingrid (the chorus girls)

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"Sing with me now!"Gasaway

Monday, May 4, 2009

Sometimes you just can't let go. Sometimes you just want to hold on. Everyone has good-byes in their life. sometimes it is the good-bye of a relationship...something you don't want to end no matter how much you know it has to. Sometimes it is the good-bye to a way of thinking when you realize that perhaps you were wrong. Sometimes it is the good-bye to people. People who make a difference who no matter what you think of them or if you feel they have wronged you in order to move on you must say good-bye. and sometimes...they leave you unexpectedly. They are there hugging you good bye telling you they will call you later on in the week and 30 min later they have been in an accident or suffered a fatal attack from some undiagnosed illness. You still must say good-bye...but sometimes it takes a while.Going through all my pictures I realized how I have not said my good-byes to a great many things. I hold onto them and press them to my heart wrapping my need around them until they are imprinted on my soul leaving their marks like a fossil in a piece of stone. The feelings of bitter anger loss and resentment becoming hard like a diamond from coal. This is not healthy.But yet i can not force myself to say goodbye to all of it at once. So I will do it over time. Starting small. Saying good-bye to the lost love from high school. The boy who broke my heart with his promises. The one who made me feel beautiful and worthless all at once. The one who I was not good enough for unless it was a secret unless no one knew.Reflective Thoughts!Michelle"Good-bye"Gasaway

Dear sir,

I was asked by your assistant manager not to say anything to you. To let him handle you in his own way and to not get involved. I promised i wouldn't but I need to write this down anyway so I don't continue to see red every time I think about you. The two of you have been working at the plant for a little over a year now. he has taken off 3 days. You have taken of 19 days...14 of them withing the first year. You were payed for all of those days. He took off a day for illness a day to move and a day to take care of the care after a wreck...he didn't get paid for any of them.

You take off of work because your ferret died or to go dance naked in the woods at a pagan festival or because your roommates grandmother is in the hospital after having a stroke.

He takes over when you leave and does the job short staffed. you call the other plant and beg them to send help when he is out. He makes you look good and cleans up all the messes you make. He covers for you and never throws you under the bus with the big wigs.

So How dare you call him yesterday to see how things are going in your absence and respond to him telling you about the various problems around the plant which he took care of with "Sucks to be you" and not "Thank you so much for the great job you always do. I know I can count on you and I will make it up to you on Monday when I get back"

Well guess have abused your power one to many said sucks to be you...oh no my dear come Tuesday at the managers meeting at winter garden...It will suck to be YOU!

In case you didn't guess...D's on my "S" list and the only way I can keep myself from going to his house and straight up throat punching him is by writing him this letter...a letter i know he will never see (as he does all his blogging on myspace....where he is Mr.popularity)

But this does make me feel better

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"has found an outlet for her anger" Gasaway

Saturday, May 2, 2009

I hates it!

So i started a new thing on my blog at myspace called cooking with cleavage. Nothing fancy...just a slide show with what I am making for dinner and my cleavage as the star. And my readers seem to really enjoy much that they want me to make a separate cwc page. Which feeds my ego and makes me blush *Bats eyes like her granny taught her*. But about 2 days ago one of my readers (who btw I have on more than one occasion had strong words with...and he is also one of these people that you just groan when you see him or see that he is responding to anything you may have posted. Asked me (in a comment in my blog) if he could have permission to do "Something kinda similar" on his response "but you don't have any cleavage"

to which he says"But my wife does"

ok so before I go on I have to say I was a little irked that he wanted to copy me using his wife...the I was really pissed that he wanted to copy me at all. being the classy lady that I am I told him no he could not use my idea but that if he wanted to do a cooking show as well then go ahead and do it but come up with his own unique thing (srsly his name is creative dragon...I mean come on..I had 3 ideas for a show immediately). He seemed to think I was being unreasonable but and I quote "I will be the adult and back down. I think your being's not like I was going to use the name cooking with cleavage just the set-up and concept and slide show form"

k...did you get that..I'm being childish because i didn't want him to steal my idea put a different name on it and call it his own?

Am I being unreasonable? Should I have told him go ahead?

Silly as it sounds I just had this mental picture of Cooking taking of and my getting interviewed on the view...I didn't want anyone to steal my dream...that's all

And I am not silly enough to believe that I am the only one who had this idea...But I don't know all the others who did..and they aren't my "friends"

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"Besides I hate copycats"Gasaway

Sunday, April 26, 2009

Not Me Monday

ok so technically it won't be Monday for like 2 1/2 more hours but...figured I would get a head start.

Interesting week. very interesting. I did not totally have to pat myself on the back for coming up with the idea for Cooking with new pet project...where I star as the chef in a cooking show....that has regular cleavage breaks instead of commercial network here I come!

I did not do the happy dance for losing yet 1 more pound!

I did not get asked out on a date for the 3rd time this month from the same isn't funny or flattering it is just annoying.

I didn't trip walking up the stairs at the apartment...twice...within a 2 min time frame.

I did start dance classes this week but did not twirl right into the room length mirrors doing some practice spins because I was distracted...because I was looking at my self in the mirrors!

and I did not stupidly take naked pics of my self (alright so I was wearing my unmentionables) from several angles to "see what I looked like now' only to feel nauseated by what I saw...How did I get this bad?!?! My first thought being "oh gawd! David has to look at this when we make love? eww!" I was completely first. but now I have decided it was the best thing I could do. It will completely motivate me to look better and exercises. i have been doing yoga and this week I joined a dance class (yeah for jazz and erotic dance lessons!) I realized that even though the yoga kept me...stretchy and ass...actually no my entire body was pretty much outta shape.

I have taken dance before. i started ballet when I was 4 (I was pigeon toed) and took ballet and tap (and one year of jazz) till I was 13 I did cheer leading and played softball. And as I look back i realize my down fall...High school theater! Which is devastating. because I love it! but srsly. late nights at rehearsal early morning calls for "in schools" outta town competitions and all of this was fueled by fast food (McDonald's at best...taco bell at worst) or 24 hour restaurants (helllllo Denny's)
cigarettes Pepsi and no doz (good gawd the amount of no doz I consumed!) not to mention late night adventures to do god only knows what around downtown Orlando and the metro west area. body's downfall I tell you!

OK so this was kinda sorta a not me Monday...more of a "yes I finally see how large I have become and will now be doubling my weight loss efforts but don't expect me to take full responsibility for this weight obviously it is not my fault" blog.

So I have saved the pics to my computer and intend to take new ones once a month. I have also pulled down my favorite pair of pants and my two favorite pairs of shorts and put them in the closet hanging in the front to remind me daily of what i am working towards.

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"now...i be going to bed..."Gasaway


I did not just stab my self in the finger with a toothpick whhich I was using to break through the safty seal on the cream for out coffee...ugh*

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Cooking with Cleavage!

So I decide to go ahead with the idea for cooking with far so good!

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

I have an idea...

I think I should be the host of an on=line cooking show...I can see it now...Cooking with cleavage! it will awsome!

awkward dreams random questions and throat punching

Have you ever had one of those dreams where you woke up and WTF didn't even begin to cover it? Where it leaves you with a feeling of what the hell just happened? or was that crap really a dream? i did...last night.

So the thing is last nights dream involved 3 of my relationships and two friendships.

hopefully you will be able to keep up

Myself David and Sabrina are sitting at an outdoor cafe discussing wedding photography possibility's. David is trying (with absolutely no success) to convince us that it would be a good idea to hire clowns for the wedding and that instead of a camera Brina should run around with a pen and a legal pad and just draw everything she See's...because that would save money *aside* (again....he was not convincing all and really he isn't that cheap)

When out of no where Adam and Erik Flores show up and sit down and steal the ice cream sundaes that Brina and i are consuming.
(now just so those of you who don't understand why this would be awkward and would defiantly result in bot guys getting injured...Adam is Brina's ex from high school. His younger bro we will call him my ex from high school as well...and they are stealing our ice cream...back to the dream)

Now being the peaceful loving classy lady that we are we point it out to David who immediately buys us new ice cream sundaes...and then dumps the one's that were stolen over the heads of the two schmucks who stole them. We feel satisfied with the outcome.
Now enters my most recent ex...who pulls up in a 1965 mustang convert able (which is why I know this was a dream!) and informs us we need to get in because...and are you ready for this...a giant tsunami wave is heading our way. At which point we all (and this includes Adam and Erik) jump in the car and out run the wave...which we can see from the back of the car.

Once we are safe the boys get together and decide that as this wave has killed the population that Brina and I are the ones who will save the human race. Unfortunately Brina has to choose between Adam Erik and ex-Dave (I totally offed my Dave to you but we realized that wouldn't work with the whole population scenario)
I don't know who you choose Brina...I woke up. Sorry.

But the dream it self was just...well...creepy!

Most random question of the day

Have you ever thought about the color pink?

ummm well...yes...what about it?

Just wondering if you ever thought about it.

*eye twitching erratically as random person walks away*

I have threatened two people with a throat punch today...they deserved it.

Random Thoughts!

Michelle"I need anti dream meds!"Gasaway

Monday, April 20, 2009

Not me monday

Le Sigh...

I did not this week have to pretend I was pregnant at least 4 times when people (strangers to be exact and one person i haven't seen or talked to in a loooong time) asked me how far along I was in my pregnancy.

I did not get totally excited that I lost 10 pounds only to be depressed again when I started my period and gained about 5 pounds back.

I did not get even more bitter about the fact that my stomach has only gone down an inch and in my sadness eat a whole bowl of leftover mac and cheese for comfort.

I did not totally break down in tears over my weight and the fact that I am breaking out like a 15 year old on our one year anniversary causing David to feel as if he had done something wrong.

I did not secretly wish I could afford liposuction (I have a strict no plastic surgery policy for my life) so I could just get rid of the fat already!

I did not run into my living room wall...3 the same hour.

I also did not forget to pack my P.J.'s when packing for an over night stay at David's moms house because I don't usually where more than panties to bed.

I did not sleep for 4 hours on Sunday when David went to work

and I most certainly did not under any circumstances decide it would be a good idea and romantic to make David watch sense and sensibility on our anniversary

nope...not me!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"NNM is my fav"Gasaway

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

Not me mon...err...uhhh tuesday

I think i will just let not me Monday fall on what ever day I am able to get to it. not that I all.

Just like this week I did not totally gt into a slight online blog war with some girl I have never ever met. nope I didn't act like a girl in the locker room in high school (and by that I mean I was not snarkey and nit picky and I didn't "accidentally" start some shit. Not (and this is according to David) the whole girls in high school walk around half naked and end up experimenting with their sexuality on each other like men of all ages apparently think we do...honestly that is stupid...I never did that...i experimented in the sound booth...and my car...and well we wont get into that right now) I also did not totally get irritated with David when he beat my high score on tetras (seriously...would it have killed him to let me be the best at SOMETHING!?!?)
I did not secretly fantasize that I lived in the twilight world and was a vampire just so I could picture myself beating the crap out of those people!
I did not totally bawl my eyes out when Kutner died on house (not as bad as when amber died though)
I did not secretly hope that i would get the flu so I could be out of work for a week. and I didn't use WAAAAAYYY to much cheese in our dinners this week. (when you have a box...yes a box of string cheese two 3 pound bags of shredded cheese and 15 pounds...yes POUNDS of pepper jack happens) I have not slept a ridiculous amount this week and I did not start crying earlier because I was thinking of a conversation David and I had about a month ago where he said the music I listen to when he isn't around...annoys him. Let me reiterate...he said this A MONTH AGO and I thought about it today and started CRYING!
I didn't try to figure out how much it would cost to leave America and move to Australia and I didn't look up how much it would cost to go to Hawaii for a week...because Brina...those were all kinds of beautiful pics!

Le Sigh I didn't have a busy week at all...would you agree?

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"no more cheese!"Gasaway

Monday, March 16, 2009

Not Me Monday

Ahhhhh not me much I miss you throughout the week (and go me...I'm totally posting on Monday!). I had a not so crazy week. I mean really. everything was so calm and it was nice.

It was nice that David did not get a Friend request from a hot girl who wrote him a message telling him he was "hawt" and that of course did not make me in any way shape or form jealous...nope not me.

I did not offer sexual favors to him in exchange for watching Sweeney Todd on our movie night (even though he actually wants to see it...he just doesn't know that yet!)

I did not get totally creeped out being home alone for the past few days when I got home before David.

I did not break yet another glass (really we should just use plastic)

and I most certainly did not cut my self cleaning it up)

I did not get just a little too happy when David brought home a box of string cheese from the warehouse either

on a serious happy note I have joined a new site which I love called Fit Day! and it charts my progress and counts my calories and I can see my weight loss even though I can't actually see it yet and I looooove it!

Happy thoughts!

Michelle"Brina hope your having fun in Hawaii!"Gasaway

Monday, March 2, 2009

Not Me monday...

I rock! I am actually doing this on a monday! LOL!

Now this week I didn't do a whole heck of a lot. I didn't for example get into a car wreck and end up in the hospital. I didn't call the labor board o my boss because she hasn't paid me in six weeks. I didn't decide to leave and find a job else wear because of lack of pay and religious reasons. I didn't give up coffee for lent and then decide it would be better for everyone involved if I gave up soda instead. I didn't Lay in bed all day the day after the accident because of exhaustion. I also did not get chased down and cornered by a turtle at the apartment complex...I am such a wuss! I didn't have to "Put down" my chia pet because he was looking kind sad and I totally did not entertain the idea that I needed to buy the newest chia pet which is the chia Obama. And I did not for one second think "oh that is so much better than those stupid quarters!" nope not me

(side note. Although I did not initially vote for him I am so pleased that he is doing well in office and prayed that he would succeed. He is to important for me to want him to fail; and that isn't nice anyway. I just dislike "commemorative" things on any level)

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle" My feet are freezing" Gasaway

Thursday, February 26, 2009

My poor guy (and my new claim to fame)

I can't belive I did this. I mean I never get in wreacks...I am a good driver. I have only ever been in one fender bender my entire life (and brina was with me...oh yeah! *hi-5"s brina through the interwebz*) But I have now been in two. Thats right. Luckily I didn't hit another car...just a freakin light poll...damn. The scariest thing is..I blacked out. Not after the accident but before it. I was driving and then next thing i knew...BAM! So I got my cat scan at the hospital last night and have a follow up with a nerologist next week. Poor david on the other hand was waiting at home with dinner ready. He actually called my cell looking for me because I was late and the paramedics answered (side note...I keep my cell down my shirt in bettween my boobs...yea...that was all kinds of awkward!) which of course freaked him the hell out. and then to top it all off he had to walk ...yes WALK to the hospital. Luckily they took my to Dr. Phillips (right of turkey lake) which is about a 30 min walk from our place. I am now sore nauseated and more than a little freaked out and terrified about getting behind the wheel of a car. And the bitchy ass dr was no help. (Do you think this is normal?!?! you could have hit a child! --->(points to me hysterical and in tears) Oh gawwwd!) psh...what a douche nozzle!

Now as to my claim to fame...if your driving down turkey lake tword central Florida Pkwy or down palm parkway towards central Florida...on the corner of CFP...that light pole that is sitting at a nice little angle...oh yea...that's all me!

Sore Thoughts!


Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Not Me..errr...tuesday

I don't all. ahem that being said...I also did not fall out of a pair of heels I wore earlier this week twice. I did not drive all the way over to Michigan St. in downtown Orlando to meet my new doctor only to call his office after driving up and down the road for 20 min looking for his office only to find out that in fact...he was on Michigan Kissimee (or is it the other way around? ave. st. what ever.) I have not been having mild panic attacks all week because my left hand leg and 3 of my toes have been constantly numb making me believe I am going to have a stroke. I have not left my purse at work everyday since Friday...and it most certainly did not have my paycheck in it which I do not need to pay rent. and I did not (and this is totally gross) break out like a teenager this past week. and the blemishes were not in the weirdest of places like behind and in my ear in my armpit and (eek) one huge painful one...on my boob. Le sigh. I am not totally panicking over the thought of having a cat scan because I mentioned the numbness to my doc and he wants to "check things out in there" to make sure it's OK. I did not get new fish this week that are incredibly spastic. and i did not cry when My beta Marseilles Wallace (whom I got from David on our one month anniversary) died. I did not name the two new fish (which I did not get anyway) after the two hit men from Pulp Fiction. I also did not get two snails for the aquarium and name them Jose and Cuervo.

Michelle"must stop procrastinating...not that I do that"Gasaway

Monday, February 16, 2009

Shoe Porn

Ahhh I thought I had the whole wedding thing under control...but I forgot about shoes....ahhh shoes! I <3>!

I am leaning towards the snazzy black and pink ones in the middle thus far...but that can (and most likely will) change...multiple times!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Mot Me Monday...ere...uhhhh.yeah will go with that

I am not posting this on Thursday because I procrastinated all week. I did not log on and look at my blog and think I really need to post a nmm post every single night and then get distracted by something else. nope...not me. I do not have ADD. I have not become obsessed with The and reading post that have been visited by the drama llama. David and I did not have a fight which ended up with me in tears because of fish food. I did not get upset when david jokingly told me I needed to go on a diet after I jokingly told him the same thing. I did not purposely slow down because a dumb ass in a mustang was driving way to fast so he couldn't pass (brina that was for you) and i did not...absolutely did not read an article about normal penises in cosmo and then immediately check davids to be sure his was normal...nope not me!

Sunday, February 8, 2009

So I got some "new" clothes...

Actually they are hand-me-downs from my aunt but that's OK...she takes good care of her stuff...and has great clothes...and they are free! yay! But the best (well for me that is...David disputes this) is that I got a cute little house dress...a brightly colored flowery house dress...all-right it's a muumuu! but even is comfy!!!! although I have to body doesn't look great in it...I kinda look like tracy turnblads mom from hairspray (the Ricki lake version...not the musical! lol) but I don't care...comfort is a wonderful thing! and I promised David it would never see the light of day with the exception of our porch (no one can see it from there lol)

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"man do i feel good!"Gasaway!

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

todays episode is brought to you by the letter "K"

So how special do I feel...cleaver girl goes blog (the fantaboulus ms.Tia) totally tagged me for the alphabet game (cause i asked her to) and gave me the letter K. So I have to make a list of 10 things I love that start with the letter goes!

1)Kaboodles. I know I know...totally 90's and I haven't seen them in fo-ev-ah BUT I still have mine form when I was like 12 and finally allowed to wear make-up...and I will love it...always!

2)Kitchens. I know it's kinda weird but I love love LOVE me some kitchen time! lol

3)Kittens. I have always been a kitty person!

4)Kirk Douglas. mmmmmmm yummy!

5)Kabobs. LOOOOOVE!

6)Kamal (Lotus in Indian). My favorite flower next to pink daisy's with thick stems

7)Kisses. Honestly...who doesn't looooove kisses!?!

8)Kathmandu Valley. one of the most beautiful places in the world!!!

9)Kaleidoscopes. ohhhhhh pretty colors!

10)Kangaroo's. They are the main reason I want to be going to Australia!

So there you have it....the letter K and all the things I love that it starts with! :)

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle" K is wonderful!"Gasaway!

Monday, February 2, 2009

Well so much for that

I am exhausted. I thought i got a good nights sleep. I slept for a full 9 hours. I didn't get my weekend rest but I thought I made up for it. I was wrong. not even half way through the day and I feel like curling up on one of the kiddo's mats and going to sleep. of course the lights be off and the soft music doesn't all! I am also sore. and hungry. But for avocados. And chocolate. which is weird...right? I mean I love me some avocados and I love me some chocolate but right now i just want to sit with some fresh avocado and dip it into a bowl of creamy warm chocolate frosting and just eat. good lord. and its raining so the kiddies couldn't go out to run around and play today. I feel restless. I want to do something. not just work. I want to get a second job (right...most people can't even find a first job right now!) or volunteer somewhere or go to the beach or have an adventure. I feel so weird right now this blog probably makes as much sense as fish banana...Le sigh

restless Thoughts!

Michelle"maybe its the rain"Gasaway

Sunday, February 1, 2009

Taking a break....

Actually I think it is really called procrastinating...and that is something I am really really really good at. I feel like I am about half way done. I mean this was my checklist this morning

1) Pay rent
2)put money on the laundry card
3)get new air filter

(Of course I have to be efficient so I grouped them...the above things were all stuff I had to do i the office)

4)Unload car
5)repack my stuff for storage (condense boxes)
6)Load car with boxes for storage

7)Clean car
8)wash dishes

10)straighten up apartment
12)make dinner.

So see 12 things totally doable before David gets off of work. and it only took me about 10 min. to come up with the min to figure out my plan of which point I needed a break! lol

But like I said the list is smaller now. I'm at the cleaning portion of it so hear is hoping the multitasking part of me will kick in and I can get it finished in about 2 hours giving me more than enough time for...yep another break!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"wish I was Mary Poppins....then I could just snap and sing and it would all be done"Gasaway

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Smells like burnt feathers....

You know most people get hurt doing something stupid once in their life but they learn from it. Some people are just naturally clumsy and get hurt multiple times but in small ways. And some people like me are naturally clumsy but also get hurt in major ways but I never learn. couple that with my natural gracefulness and voila! You have the walking disaster that David is getting ready to marry...god help him! I have fallen up the stairs, fallen while walking in a straight line on even ground fell off a boat walked off a dock and burned my hair off...twice. I walk into walls and constantly bang my head on the cabinet even though I know for a fact that it is still there and hasn't moved. i don't understand why it is that I can't walk three feet without stubbing my toe or sum such thing. I am now getting paranoid about my walk down the aisle. Am I going to fall on my face?!?!? of course I didn't so it the first time and my dress is shorter this time's hoping!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"0 days without injuries"Gasaway

Monday, January 26, 2009

The Back story

So I found this on another blog and she didn't know whom had written it originally either...

To All My Valued Employees,

There have been some rumblings around the office about the future of this company, and more specifically, your job.As you know, the economy has changed for the worse and presents many challenges. However, the good news is this: The economy doesn't pose a threat to your job. What does threaten your job however, is the changing political landscape in this country.However, let me tell you some little tidbits of fact which might help you decide what is in your best interests.First, while it is easy to spew rhetoric that casts employers against employees, you have to understand that for every business owner there is a Back Story. This back story is often neglected and overshadowed by what you see and hear. Sure, you see me park my Mercedes outside. You've seen my big home at last year's Christmas party. I'm sure; all these flashy icons of luxury conjure up some idealized thoughts about my life.However, what you don't see is the BACK STORY:I started this company 28 years ago. At that time, I lived in a 300 square foot studio apartment for 3 years. My entire living apartment was converted into an office so I could put forth 100% effort into building a company, which by the way, would eventually employ you.My diet consisted of Ramen Pride noodles because every dollar I spent went back into this company. I drove a rusty Toyota Corolla with a defective transmission. I didn't have time to date. Often times, I stayed home on weekends, while my friends went out drinking and partying. In fact, I was married to my business -- hard work, discipline, and sacrifice.Meanwhile, my friends got jobs. They worked 40 hours a week and made a modest $50K a year and spent every dime they earned. They drove flashy cars and lived in expensive homes and wore fancy designer clothes. Instead of hitting the Nordstrom's for the latest hot fashion item, I was trolling through the discount store extracting any clothing item that didn't look like it was birthed in the 70's. My friends refinanced their mortgages and lived a life of luxury. I, however, did not. I put my time, my money, and my life into a business with a vision that eventually, some day, I too, will be able to afford these luxuries my friends supposedly had.So, while you physically arrive at the office at 9am, mentally check in at about noon, and then leave at 5pm, I don't. There is no "off" button for me. When you leave the office, you are done and you have a weekend all to yourself. I unfortunately do not have the freedom. I eat, and breathe this company every minute of the day. There is no rest. There is no weekend. There is no happy hour. Every day this business is attached to my hip like a 1 year old special-needs child. You, of course, only see the fruits of that garden -- the nice house, the Mercedes, the vacations... you never realize the Back Story and the sacrifices I've made.Now, the economy is falling apart and I, the guy that made all the right decisions and saved his money, have to bail-out all the people who didn't. The people that overspent their paychecks suddenly feel entitled to the same luxuries that I earned and sacrificed a decade of my life for.Yes, business ownership has is benefits but the price I've paid is steep and not without wounds.Unfortunately, the cost of running this business, and employing you, is starting to eclipse the threshold of marginal benefit and let me tell you why:I am being taxed to death and the government thinks I don't pay enough. I have state taxes. Federal taxes. Property taxes. Sales and use taxes. Payroll taxes. Workers compensation taxes. Unemployment taxes. Taxes on taxes. I have to hire a tax man to manage all these taxes and then guess what? I have to pay taxes for employing him. Government mandates and regulations and all the accounting that goes with it, now occupy most of my time. On Oct 15th, I wrote a check to the US Treasury for $288,000 for quarterly taxes. You know what my "stimulus" check was? Zero... Nada... Zilch.The question I have is this: Who is stimulating the economy? Me, the guy who has provided 14 people good paying jobs and serves over 2,200,000 people per year with a flourishing business? Or, the single mother sitting at home pregnant with her fourth child waiting for her next welfare check? Obviously, government feels the latter is the economic stimulus of this country.The fact is, if I deducted (Read: Stole) 50% of your paycheck you'd quit and you wouldn't work here. I mean, why should you? That's nuts. Who wants to get rewarded only 50% of their hard work? Well, I agree which is why your job is in jeopardy.Here is what many of you don't understand... to stimulate the economy you need to stimulate what runs the economy. Had suddenly government mandated to me that I didn't need to pay taxes, guess what? Instead of depositing that $288,000 into the Washington black-hole, I would have spent it, hired more employees, and generated substantial economic growth. My employees would have enjoyed the wealth of that tax cut in the form of promotions and better salaries. But you can forget it now.When you have a comatose man on the verge of death, you don't defibrillate and shock his thumb thinking that will bring him back to life, do you? You defibrillate his heart! Business is at the heart of America and always has been. To restart it, you must stimulate it, not kill it. Suddenly, the power brokers in Washington believe the poor of America are the essential drivers of the American economic engine. Nothing could be further from the truth and this is the type of change you can keep.So where am I going with all this?It's quite simple.If any new taxes are levied on me, or my company, my reaction will be swift and simple. I'll fire you. I'll fire your co-workers. You can then plead with the government to pay for your mortgage, your SUV, and your child's future. Frankly, it isn't my problem any more.Then, I will close this company down, move to another country, and retire. You see, I'm done. I'm done with a country that penalizes the productive and gives to the unproductive. My motivation to work and to provide jobs will be destroyed, and with it, will be my citizenship.So, if you lose your job, it won't be at the hands of the economy; it will be at the hands of a political hurricane that swept through this country, steamrolled the constitution, and will have changed its landscape forever. If that happens, you can find me sitting on a beach, retired, and with no employees to worry about...

The Boss

So to me this at first seemed a little angry buuuuut I think it gives perspective to some things

Sunday, January 25, 2009

Not me...sunday?

So I actually picked this up from Brina...who picked it up from one of her friends (whom I believe is a girl I went to church with when I was younger...but that's neither here nor there) It's actually called not me MONDAY...buuuut it is Sunday and I have totally been neglecting David during the week...and it is going to be pretty short. so here goes

I did not get into a huge fight over house cleaning with David. I was not insulted by his comments about how much I suck at it. I did not act like a five year old and pout for an hour..I'm way to mature for that. i did not stay up till 3 o'clock in the morning reading out on the porch while David slept last night (this morning). I did not go back to sleep after he left even though I promised promised promised him to start laundry immediately.

I think that's know its amazing how much better it feels to see all the stuff you didn't do that may or may not feel guilty about! lol

So I know there was a time before interwebz and blogging...i can't remember it but I know it was there. I need to try and cut the blogs down to only once or twice a week. Although i am driven crazy by the lack of blogs for me to read! lol in a perfect world I would have may wonderful blogs I could write in 3 seconds flat with no spelling errors and all of my blogger friends would be able to do the I would always have something to read! lol

Le Sigh...back to cleaning!
Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"I smell of comet and laundry detergent at the moment"Gasaway

Thursday, January 22, 2009

Do I really look like someone with a plan?

Cause I'm not. No where near. But somehow I am the one who is planning the wedding. The thing that kills me is that I was in theater for four years. I was head of the prop department I had had to have a plan of some kind or else no one would have their props and Mr. rush would not be happy...lets face it "The rainbow would be in a sour mood" and no one wanted that. I am a teacher and my whole career revolves around planning and organizing. so why is this wedding kicking my ever widening ass!?! I think part of the problem is everyone has an opinion on what we should do. And as well meaning as the family's are it seems like none of them are considering the feelings of the main two people involved. Then there are the people who assume because you bring it up in their presence that they are involved and invited. for example


co-worker:Whats up wedding blues?

Me: Not really it's just stressful. Everything seems to be so easy when I write it down on paper but doing it seems like pulling teeth. Like the flowers...I just want the big pink daisy's with thick stems...

CW:OH MY GOD! I know exactly where to get those...I can take you this weekend and we can do more wedding planning! You need to let me know when the wedding is so I can get the time off!


OK so I know it might be bad to not invite the co-workers (I mean I like most of them) but small and intimate is the wedding David and I are going for. We are only inviting immediate family and the one friend who is coming is also our photographer. I hate telling people "no your not invited" but I know i will have to eventually. I wish David was more involved but at this point he is SO busy with work (he works hard...and has a very demanding job) that all he sees is wedding 10 months away...I have time...HA! We so don't have time. i have been through this once (I vaguely remember declaring a week before my first wedding that I would never do this again).

Not to mention the wedding porn that I have found on the new wedding website that Brina informed me on...I thought I was bad on the knot! of course She and I discussed it and a lot of the women on the knot are...well...kinda bitchy so I'm thinking not so much with posting there anymore. Le Sigh! ah well in ten months it will be over (of course we come back from our honeymoon just in time for thanksgiving and Christmas...I must have lost my damn mind planning a wedding that close to the holidays!)

Crazy thoughts!

Michelle"At least the wedding nightmares haven't started...yet"Gasaway

Monday, January 19, 2009


Why is it that just when things are going right...just when I am perfectly happy that something has to go wrong? I sometimes think that maybe it is all my fault. I mean I am irresponsible to a fault. I lose things constantly Money,keys,important paper work. I know I am 25 and I need to fix this but I don't know how. The saying "I would lose my head if it wasn't screwed on" totally pertains to me. I am so incredibly like my mother it isn't even funny. The thing is my mom and I both wear rose colored glasses. We see the world as pretty and bad things for us have to be really really bad. The difference is this, She tries to ignore the bad things thinking if she does they will just go away. I don't ignore them I just don't realize it's happening until it blind sides me. And I am beginning to realize that a lot of the issues i am having right now stem from my first marriage. I have always said if I could go back I would do things differently (i.e. run screaming) but would I? David and I are together and met because of my ex and Friends I made through her. Le Sigh. thinking of the past does nothing to help the future. We will be OK and in just under 10 months I will be Mrs. Sarra...YAY!

Morning Thoughts!

Michelle"Just keep breathing"Gasaway

Thursday, January 15, 2009

you can never tell

So I have decided to make a scrapbook for myself and David. We have taken pictures of everything and even have pictures from the night we meet and our first date to the day we told each other "I love you" for the first time and the night he proposed plus all the holidays. I also have a ton of stuff to put in it like napkins from the restaurant etc. Is that crazy? lol I think not! I think I want to give it to him on the day of our wedding while we are waiting. I think it will be a nice gift...I think. We will see.
The funny thing is as I was going through all of our pictures and figuring out which ones to use I just kept thinking "holy crap" In 10 months from today...we will be married! and in 3 months we will have been together for a year...a flipping year! It seems like we are still so new to each other. We still rush home to be with each other and want to spend our free time together. I still fall asleep laying on his chest and wake up with him curled up around me. and I still love it.

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"and the countdown really begins!"Gasaway

Sunday, January 11, 2009

Another weekend without rest

At least for David. We went up to my dads this weekend. He was taking David hog hunting. I never myself understood the attraction to hunting to be honest. You have to get up at like the ass crack of dawn schlep through the woods in a half awake stupor and sit either in a tree or on the ground for long periods of time with out access to a bathroom (I'm not peeing in the woods...ain't happening), heater, air conditioner (depending on the season), or food (unless you pack snacks that make no noise when you open them or eat them and have no sent that could scare away animals) and wait around for animals. but not just any animal oh no...the specific one that you are allowed to hunt! sometimes you get one and if you do you have then haul it out of the woods and will not even get into the whole skinning and cleaning part...icky. I can barley make a ham sandwich with out thinking of Wilbur and getting sad so for me hunting is NEVER going to happen! But I do not fault my father for it and if David wants to learn how then I will not stand in his way. I still eat meat...I just don't want to see it prancing around the forest before I do.

But while David (who BTW didn't kill anything...which I was secretly thankful for) was hunting with my dad my step mom and I were doing girlie things like wedding planning and watching chick flicks. YAY!

Thursday, January 8, 2009

I know I know!

You would think I would do better keeping up with this blog! I have been super duper busy though. David and I are getting married! And if that wasn't exciting of my oldest (as in known each other for a long time but reconnected about a year ago) friends is also engaged! Yay! Originally I started this to post my preschool stories. a couple of years ago my director/mentor and I were talking about how wonderful it would be to have a preschool teachers handbook. stories of how students and parents have touched our lives and how we in turn have touched theirs. I began collecting storeys from teachers parents and even former student and former parents. But somehow I got sidetracked. I hope I can start up again. I tried writing a short fiction story based on several stories I was reading about in the papers about child abandonment from the perspective of the person who finds a child but as always after getting some constructive criticism and re-reading it I decided it was no good and deleted it. I don't think people realise how difficult it is to write fiction sometimes. I have a million stories in my head but after I write them just seems like they go from being inspired and imaginative to forced and contrite. But re-telling stories of my experiences in the classroom...that I think I do better at. here's to a happy new year!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"Brina I'm sorry about not responding immediately to your comment I would love to go work-out with you! I don't get e-mail alerts when I get comments....I will check this more often now!lol"Gasaway