Monday, June 29, 2009

Not Me Monday_preganancy edition

I know I know. i swore this blog wouldn't turn into a "look at me look at me I'm a pregnant attention whore!" blog and thus far i think I have done a good job. But as I sit down to write my nmm I realize...Everything I did this week pertains to baby here goes

*warning this blog will contain sorta nasty things...just sayin*


So I did not mean...join david in a trip to babies r us to get look at carseats and get totally distracted by everything else that we really reall don't need while trying to convince him in a very mature (whinny) voice that we totally did need things like a mini motorcycle for the baby or a baby sized tiara (seriouslly...come child needs a tiara!)

I also did not get incrediblly snippy when the salse lady kept walking past us and ignoring us helping all the other mommies who were there with babies or at the very least a visibale baby bump and then have the guts to finally aproach us and say "Sorry i wanted to make sure I helped all of the expectant mommies first. So who are you looking for friend relative baby shower?"

And I did not give her the squinty eyes >;( and tell her that next time she shouldn't just assume the fat girl standing in the aisle was looking for a friend.

nope that would have been rude and uncalled for and made someone fell embarrassed.

I did not have to (and folks this is where it kinda gets gross) retire the thongs for a while in lew of Granny panties because the snail trail was getting outta control down there...if ya know what I mean.

My boobs did not get bigger and I did not go decide that I would wear sports bras fro the next 7 months simply to keep from buying new bras.

I have not totally become obsessed with MTV'S 16 and pregnant to the point of screaming things at the television like "OMG! Do not leave that baby on the table un-attended!" or "Geez woman! just leave him...he obviously isn't father material"

I did not get weepy watching a Flintstones vitamins commercial.

And I did not absolutely did not crave a cigarette when i happened to smell my neighbors smoking (no worries though...I quit and haven't lit up once since I found out I was with child.

BUT I did...

See my midwife this week hear the heartbeat and find out I was measuring a week ahead so i am actually 11 weeks not 10! woot! that means only 2 more weeks and i will be in the safe zone! YAY!!!!

Thursday, June 25, 2009

Scary Adventures!

So yesterday my girlfriend J called me up and asked if I was in the mood for a field trip. My response? The home is cleaned, laundry done, Mail checked and dinner ingredients sitting out in prep mode. David won't be home till eight and we of course will be home wayyyy before that. And seriously who turns down a field trip?!?!?! I mean seriously? So J comes over and we hang out for a bit. David in the meantime comes home early.Which is cool. I don't have to leave a note now! We all visit and then "the girls" head out. Now a few things before I continue...

1)We were going to a place called Pipe Dreams which is 1/2 head shop and 1/2 porn shop.

2)This in pine hills (or more com manly known to locals as Crime Hills)

Immediately upon entering my sinuses flared. If you have ever been in a head shop before you know they always have incense of a various nature. I love incense...I do. But my sinuses do not appreciate it on a massive scale and when it is about 20 different types...just sayin.

So here we are walking around me looking like I am severely depressed and feeling like my head is going to explode but giggling hysterically none the less.

Enter...the old guy behind the counter. Who thought two young giggly ladies were the perfect people to talk to and opened with this beaut of a question...

"If you came home and caught some girl giving your man that cheating?"

My answer..."ummmm yea...I would have to cut a bitch"

apparently this answer makes me a prude ;(

At some point the conversation got around to the question "are you into kinky stuff like torcher, wax, cutting?"

*sigh* Long story short he invited us to "The Dungeon" in the back.

Now before I carry on and tell you just how incredibly awesome (no I'm not even kidding) this place was let me first say this.

J is brave. I on the other hand put on a good "brave" face. In reality..I am totally a chicken shit.

And as we exited the store through the back and followed this guy I had a number of thought running through my head

1)hmmmm I wonder if the are open for business right now?

2)This is kind of an almost scarey a rob zombie movie

3)holy shit! people get dead in rob zombie movies...and not in pleasing ways either!

4)We are going to die...this guy is the front man to death operation like in hostel...i know it!

Now obviously...I was wrong. As far as the room goes...awesome. Whips chains racks chairs cages it had everything! Including a stylist chair and Movie star mirror surrounded by lights so you could do your hair and make-up. Not nearly as scary as I was thinking it was going to be (you know because I frequent BDSM lifestyle Dungeons so often! lol)

It is called The Woodshed Orlando. Look it up...they has a website...with pictures!

and the best part...

It had a Hello Kitty Welcome mat!

So thanks J for the fun field trip!

Thanks to all the great people at pipe dreams!

And thanks to our personal tour guide for The woodshop!

And sorry david for getting home late and not having dinner ready till 9:30! lol

Happy thoughts!

Michelle "Hey whats this for?" Gasaway

Friday, June 19, 2009

OMG! A spider as big as my head was on the fridge!

ok ok so maybe not as big as my head but big enough for me to squeal like the girly girl that I am. Not that I hate spiders. I don't. they (for the most part) are good and eat bugs and are very artistic with web design and what not. And some dare I say it are really very pretty...just not when they are on my fridge near my food or crawling on me. Poor spider...if I had seen it before hand I would have tried to set it free outside. As it is it crawled from the door to my hand as I was opening it and scared the crap out of me....and is now in spidy heaven

Sad about the spider thoughts

Michelle"this so doesn't go with my warrior princess alter ego...but I'm sure xena had her phobias to..right?"Gasaway

Saturday, June 13, 2009

Thursday, June 11, 2009

an AHA! moment...kind of

So I have a couple of confessions.

1) When I was younger...I loved the Jerry Springer show. I did. This was of course before it became the trashy crap fest that it is now (it it even still on the air? really?) I had a totall crush on steve and his sexy ass bald head and I totally loved judging the people on the show with the audience members.

2)The ones I judged the most were the unfaithful people who thought that reveling themselves on the show was ok. And I judged the people they were cheating on the most. I remember thinking "If it was me and someone cheated on me and then acted like that with no remorse and obviouslly did not want me...I would leave immedietlly. Why fight for someone like that?

I now know...for a fact...if david did that...i would totally fight for him.

Now let me explain he has not ever EVER cheated on me and I know in my heart he never would.

But last night i had a trully awful terrifying dream. and this is what happend

In my dream david and I were sitting in a restraunt having dinner. He was quiet for the most part until he suggested that it would be a good idea for me to sleep with other men. At first I thought he was joking but soon realized he wasnt. He confessed to sleeping with our friend (and keith's long time roomate) jennie. I was heartbroken. But I forgave him and we went home. Later Keith called and invited us to his house for a small gathering saying "we figured david and jen could hook up again"

I said no and then after hanging up realized he didn't say jennie...but jen (who is his other roomie...whom I really don't like)

I confronted david who laughed and said "yeah....sorry I didn't sleep with jennie I slept with jen...she was a virgin (at this point I knew it was dream) and it was pretty fun.

The rest of the dream consisted of me in tears and heartbroken beging him to break things off and stay with me and to love me yadda yadda yadda.

I woke up in tears and physically ill.

But I know for a fact that this is exactlly how I would act in this situation and I understand now why they have fights break out on episodes of springer (because all the story's on that show are real...right!?!?!?!)

This is just another example of how peoples (or at least my) percpectives change when you fall in love I guess.

Enlightend Thoughts!

Michelle"I hate these kinda dreams"Gasaway

Monday, June 8, 2009

Not me monday (look guys im actually doing it!)

ok so since mnost of this pertains to the "with childness" that i am going through it should really be on the other blog...

but you are just lucky it is getting done in the first place....

I did not break any rules this weekend.

I did not have an incrediblly mouthwatering turkey and cheese samich on friday with an O' Douhls (no freak outs please....doc says its ok and funny story she said their is actually more alchohol in a glass of orange juice and in canada they give you a guiness in the hospital to stop pre-term contractions or for pain releife....who knew) because even though i am in "the family way" I am not totally craving everything Im not allowed to have....and beer? seriouslly? anyway

I also did not spend all day on friday with bed....watching....wait for it....The X-MEN Animated series! oh yea! I mean.....nope not me!

I also am not suffering tummy troubles after bragging about not being sick...and an update...the child has decided...I can have cheese grits with grape jelly....great.

i also did not totally make an appointment for a belly cast with a woman who can a)paint it pink! and B)decorate it with S Crystals!!!! WOOOT!

happy thoughts!

Sunday, June 7, 2009

This is getting silly.

Why is it that guys who in the past wouldn't give me the time of day or broke my heart have decided that now that I am happy and not single that I am worthy of their affection? What is goign through their little minds? Men say women are hard to understand but i am are a totall and complete enigma to me. srsly. and the sad thing is getting really hard for me to be nice about it. soooo justin, sean, erik, tomas,carl and david (not my david..diffrent david) and mike....

I am Happy Healthy and there is noooooo chance again...NOOOOO CHANCE.

that is all

I swear next time a suggestion is made...I will start talking about the pregnancy...and not the fun stuff either....the words uterus and mucas plug will be men have been warned!