Monday, August 30, 2010


i hate not being in control. Yet another suck ass part of ppd.

The past 3 weeks have been a little harder than normal though. D lost his job (well ok he didn't lose it...i mean he knows where it is it just isn't is job anymore)which means that this warrior princess *points to self* is hella stressed.

It doesn't matter that we have enough money in our account saved up to get us through the next 6 months without having to make cuts. Or that my husband is the best money manager and has actually made a budget to streatch it out for an additional 3 months without making any really huge sacrafices.

I have no control over this. and it is eating me alive.

I want my family to be safe happy and well cared for. I want everything to be ok.

But if everything in life was perfect it would not be called would be called paradise.

Life is about choices, bad times, hardships, and suffering.

But as I have to remind myself constantly life is also about perserverence, love, faith, hope, and smelling the flowers.

This morning D and i took the baby for a walk to a park. They had a little butterfly garden which she was in love with. a huge Monarch butterfly landed on her hand and they just sat there for about 10 seconds staring at each other in fasination (curse me for not bringing a camera!)

Then the butterfly took off and flew away while my daughter watched and giggled.

I wish I could channel that everyday.

Note to self. always stop and enjoy the butterflies.

Friday, August 27, 2010

Timw with daddy

I am a stay at home mom. As such penny obviously spends most of her time with me.

But this week my husband lost his job. We are scared and worried but for the moment ok. we have savings to get us through the next 6 months...a little longer actually if we manage our money right.

Having D home all this week has been nice. Although he does spend a lot of time on the computer and phone looking for a new job filling out applications and what not.

Penny is definantly a daddy's girl.

She loves me and needs me but daddy is just this amazingly wonderful being in her life.

I may be a wee bit jealous :)

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

You know what makes me want to scream?

When people ask for my opinion and then get pissy with me when they hear something other than what they want to hear.

If you don't want someone elses opinion or advice don't ask for it. If you just want to vent...say "I need to vent this and I really just need someone to listen"

See the diffrence? See how easy?!?!


Thursday, August 5, 2010

In the summertime when the weather is fine...

I live in florida...central florida. and right's HOT!
I complain about the heat,the lack of seasons,and the state in general.


deep down I love where I live.

I love that the beach is about a 30 min drive. I can walk to sea world any day I want to go. Disney is a 15 min drive in one direction and Bush Gardens is about 30 min past that. 15 min in the other direction is Universal.

I am lucky.

There is always always always something to do and our family is close.

D and I have talked about moving up north. Somewhere with a lower cost of living and seasonal changes. somewhere that snows.

and maybe we will someday. But the truth is florida has everythiing we want.

I'm not sure if I would be able to move so far away that I couldn't see my mom every week or my dad once a month (although lately with his's been every few months).

So yes...although I complain...I am a florida girl at heart.