Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Adventures on the Playground

It's amazing how wonderful a little kids laugh is. every time I here one of my students laughing it makes my day. I can be in the darkest worst mood and having the most terrible horrible no good very bad day and when I hear them makes everything so much better. Playground time is my favorite. Inside we use our indoor voices but outside its like the sunshine and fresh air creates the need for loud voices and it's OK. Our swing set has what I call a trapeze bar on it. I was helping my little "cracker girl" on it when all of a sudden she backfliped off and landed on the ground butt first. Upon impact she let out the loudest burp I have ever heard! Before I could ask her if she was OK she started laughing hysterically and told me "Ms.M! I landed so hard my butt sneeze went up through my tummy and came out of my mouth!"

Butt sneeze...That is the best ever!!!! so much better than FART!!!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"She will be president someday!"Gatto

Friday, September 12, 2008

Family Adventures.

My father is from Arkansas. He was actually born in Ohio but moved back to Arkansas when he was about 3 days old. Like me he his a writer and Love's to talk. This past weekend David and I went to visit him and my step mom for the day. He grabbed David immediately to help him with a project. A "small" Project...which lasted 5 hours. Later on that night as we were driving home David told me what he and my dad talked about.

Baby he knows we live together now.

I know but he said he didn't care.

Yes...Actually he told me he knew we were living together and if we we rent we should since we are having sex...

wait wait you told my dad we were sleeping together?!?!

babe...he knows we are LIVING together...

*grumble* so

*sigh* anyway he said if we aren't sleeping together we should be.

wait...what? My father told you we should be...are you serious?!?!

Yep...I got official permission now! Should I drive faster?

...step on it...

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle" a totally creepy way"Gatto

Adventures in dating

I didn't date a lot in high school. I only had one really serious boyfriend and we only dated for like a month. The truth was...I had better things to do than worry about guys. Once I graduated I was surprised by how easily I fell in "Love" I suppose I thought was ready for it but I wasn't. Tony and I met at work. It was about six months after I graduated. We moved in together a month later. I suppose I was in love with the idea of being in love and marrying my "first". And because of that he could have told me he killed kittens as a hobby and I would have accepted it. He didn't kill kittens actually. He was a very sweet tender man. And he wanted to become a woman. But I accepted it and two years later we were married. We had to be so careful to not get me pregnant. He didn't want children to mess up his life as a woman. I later found out...he didn't want me to mess up his life as a woman either. I was devastated. I was angry. So I did the mature thing...I started serial dating. Tony,who was now Kari, and I had the same group of friends. We would all hang out every Sunday night. I took secret delight every Sunday regaling the group with stories of my newest dating experience all the while knowing that Kari was struggling with being alone and having trouble being accepted by her own family as well as members of the gay community. It a very immature vindictive way to act...and I ended up with one not so nice guy almost permanently in my life because I was to busy trying to get back at her...

Reminiscent Thoughts!

Michelle"to be continued in a later edition"Gatto

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

Adventures in Preschool

For obvious reasons the names and places have been changed.

I have been a preschool teacher for five years. the following is a story from two years ago when I was with the 3 year olds.

It was right after nap time. That is always the craziest time of day for me. between the kiddos in the bathroom arguing over who got there first and who need to go more to the ones trying to put their mats away. The few who didn't fall asleep until the very end of naptime trying to get a last few minuets of sleep in or pretending to stay asleep were always a joy and a half to try and get up. Luckily for me I had learned long ago to get the snack ready before hand. we were having cheese and crackers that day. Ann was the baby of the group. She had just turned three the week before and I had a sneaky suspicion that her parents had been feeding her cake in the morning for breakfast. she was as neurotic as a small dog with out the peeing all over herself. She was also the slowest eater in the whole class. Inevitably as everyone else was finishing up there second helping and throwing away their cups and napkins she piped up

"Ms.M...can I please have some more crackers?"

I gave myself a mental pat on the back...she never used please before!

I smiled and turned to the tin where we stored the saltines...only to find that it was empty. The older kids had finished them off!

I broke out into a cold sweat and began to feel faint. She had been polite and said pleas...and I had already told her yes. This sweet angelic little girl would soon turn into Godzilla when I told her no. Toys would be thrown and the shear hi pitch scream of her voice would shatter the glass in the windows of our classroom...I was pretty sure she would be able breath fire as well. I had seen her at her angriest. I took a deep breath and turned to deliver the bad news when it seemed fate intervened.

"Never mind Ms. M. I have some in my panties."

I spun around to see her pull two crackers out of her pants and begin nibbling on them delicately as if the were tea cakes...she was always very proper.

"Ann! Why did you have crackers in you underwear?!?!"

I know I know...I should have told her not to eat them...but I was flabbergasted and honestly this was the first thing that came to my mind.

*sigh* "because Ms.M...I was saving them."


"for later"

of course...why in the world didn't I think of that!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"I need more crackers over here!"Gatto

welcome to my little world!

Ahhhh the art of the blog! My father will be so proud to find that I have taken my writing from the small time myspace blog to something easier to find on the interwebz. I'm not to sure why exactly I decided to do this other than the obvious. I love to write. I of course seem to never have something to not write about (lets face it I'm a teacher I have big boobs and my family is from the south...I have stories!) But as my kiddos are begging to wake up from there nap I must say adios for now!!!

Happy Thoughts!

Michelle"take that out of your mouth! you have no idea where his fingers have been!"Gatto