Wednesday, June 8, 2011

I feel so stabby lately

and by stabby I mean cranky...twords everything and everyone. my husband my kid my riends my life. Trying to concive is a big one. everyone is having babies or getting pregnant...but not me. multiple losses and stuggles are not made better by the constante barage of "just relax it will happen" or "have sex upside down doggie style while eating lemons and playiing the ukelale...we got pregnant on the first try doing that.

*sigh* january I was pregnant...febuary i wasn't april I was pregnant...may I wasnt...

it's like a horrible version of he loves me he loves me not.

im currently in not mode...when if things were diffrent i would be in pregnant 5 months.

i think of what i would be doing. I would be stocking up on things like diapers and blankets. clearing out space in penny's room for the new baby. setteling on a name. possibly knowing the sex. laughinig if it is anohter girl because she is fully clothed...crackin g up hystericly if it was a boy because he would have nothing thus far!

and I would be due in sept. my countdown would have begun. 3 more months and I would have a floppy wrinkly newborn. we would be parents of two kiddos. penny would be a big sister.

She is goign to love being a big sis...she loves babies.

1 comment:

Megs said...

hang in there! as always, things will work for you when it is best time. :) I know it's cliched sounding, but life is never what you want when you want it.