Saturday, June 26, 2010

Because you can't pick your ex-family members

OK so in yesterday's post I mentioned my Ex-Mil.
She gave me a trash can full of cleaning supplies for Christmas with a passive aggressive note about the state of my home.


I will say that although my divorce was devastating for me...I literally wanted to do cartwheels out of the courtroom because I knew I would NEVER have to see, speak, listen to this woman again.

Yesterday D and I went to sea world with penny. and who should we see? get three guesses...

the first 2 don't count.

as soon as I laid eyes on her I tried to seriously. We were in a gift shop and I was holding the baby. I saw her by the registers and literally ducked underneath a rack of clothing. Penny thought it was a game...D thought i had lost my effing mind.

An d it was all for nothing because the dragon lady saw me.

And walked over with a big fake smile and a streak of red lipstick on her teeth (srsly in the 5 years I was with her son...she always had lipstick on her teeth...always)

Her: Welll loook at you! I heard you got married and had a baby but i didn't know you were pregnant again!

(bitch...I have lost 45 pounds since penn was born...I'm not pregnant)

Me: aw nope not pregnant just need to lose the last little bit of baby weight. You know how hard that is.

Her:hm mm well she looks nothing like you...she's beautiful.

Me: yes well you know what they say girls who look like their dads are always beautiful.

Her: So where is your husband? (hmmm perhaps it could be the tall blond guy standing next me pushing the stroller. *eye roll*)

Me: oh I'm sorry this is...

(At this point she cuts me off)

Her: oh why don't you let me hold her for a minute. since I will never be a know I can't understand why you couldn't do this before you got divorced.

(because that would require sex...which your son didn't want...he wanted a with it)

*tries to grab at penny...penny screams....hehehe.*

Me: oh I'm sorry...I guess she is just a little tired. so how's K(the ex) doing? Did she get her sexual reassignment surgery yet?

(yes my ex is transgender)

Her: Oh um no. But He..I mean she is dating someone...I guess.

and then she walked away.

Now lets get one thing straight. I have no love lost for my ex...and her being transgender has nothing to do with it.

And I really have no love lost for my ex mil...her being a bitch has EVERYTHING to do with it.

But she is a mom and I know the whole transgender thing bothers does the no grand kids. I do feel a little (and I mean a veeeeerrrrryyyyy little) bit sorry for her.

But she is still the mil equivalent of Godzilla...just saying.

1 comment:

Nicole Stacy said...

Ha ha ha ha!! That is all I have to say!!!