Last November I accidently handcuffed my self to my kitchen stove.
I will give you a minute to let that sink in.
are we good? Ok...so here's the story.
Last November I was pregnant...hugely pregnant...for the sake of my readers here is a visual
Now D and i have alwasy had a great physical relationship and with the exception of one time when i ripped ass in the middle of sex...up till this point..it hadn't gotten dull.
But at 8 months pregnant...I was not feeling my sexiest and the only position we could comfortably use was doggy style...which lets face it...made me feel even less appaeling. Plus I was just plain uncomfortable.
I knew it botherd D but to his credit...he never complained and totally understood.
On the night in question I decided that since we would be very soon brand new parents of an infant to try and spice things up. (we of course had his neice and nephews at this point...but they were at grandma's)
I knew it was an early night for him and he would be home from work by eleven at the latest.
So I cooked a romantic dinner busted out the candle sticks and made a picnic set up in our living room.
And to make things more fun...I got my handcuffs out.
And since I had not used them in a while i had to make sure the key still worked...right?!?!
Now here is where I could blame my desision on pregnancy brain...but in all honesty...I would have probably done this pre=pregnancy to.
Instead of just cuffing one of the bracletes to my wrist and then unlocking it (because...you know that would make sense) I hand cuffed my self to the stove.
I don't know why.
I also don't know why I didn't think to grab the handcuff key that was sitting on the coffee table in the living room.
And remember how it was D's early night at work? yup...he endedd up staying 4 hours later.
I was 8 months pregnant...handcuffed to the stove...and because i was told to drink 5 million gallons of water a day...I had to pee.
Neccesity is the mother of invention...
I used a flower vase.
Needless to say D was surprised...and after laughing for 20 min. uncuffed me.
We had great sex the next night.
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