Wednesday, June 2, 2010

It's a new day

4 and a half wait scratch that...2 and a half years...nope not that either.

Ok so lets just go with...a long time ago...I was happy. I loved my life my family my friends...we will call this time period HIGH SCHOOL. And more senior year. My happiness lasted another 2 years after graduation. and then something changed. I meet the big ole ex.

and my happiness..the joy i felt waking up in the morning...was gone. After our seperation The saddness lingerd. like the smell in a bathroom...and over time i got used to it. And it nearly destroyed not only me but my relationship with D as well as D himself.

I made bad choices and betrayed his trust all the while crying because I knew I was killing him. I needed help but didn't want him to know how broken I was. To him I was perfection. And he forgave me over and over and over again.

Until one day he couldn't take it anymore. He was angry, and justifiablly so.

i thought it was the end. But it wasn't. It lasted 3 days.

Hearing him say I love you again and knowing what could happen changed me.

I admited my problems I got help and now for the first time in 8 or 9 years.

I am happy again. The joy is back.

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